How to Be More Confident – 3 Effective Tips to Increase Self-Esteem



Feeling low, unmotivated or a failure! Take heart, it’s part of being human and having feelings. There comes a time when uncertainty and self-doubt cast a dark cloud of despair over our lives. This can be a time when your mind is flooded with negative emotions and thoughts that get in the way of our well-being or happiness.

If this feeling of self-doubt is prolonged, it can severely impact your personal and professional life. When you think about it, it’s like a self-fulfilling prophecy, the lower your self-esteem the less motivated you are to do something about it. The silver lining to this issue is that there are ways to increase your self-esteem or sense of self-worth.

Here are 3 tips on how to be more confident:

1. Make Yourself the Priority—Your #1 Fan

It’s you, it’s always been you! You’ve always had the primary responsibility of taking care of yourself. I strongly believe that anything good in life from healthy relationships to successful careers comes from self-love. How can you express genuine love to another person when you don’t know how it feels like? Learn to make yourself the priority, to embrace self-confidence and the rest will follow.


2. Find the Root of your Troubles—and Uproot them!

Everything has a source including your damaged self-esteem. Take some time to reflect on your life and run an “audit” to identify the culprits to your deflated sense of self-worth. This may present itself in the shape of a conflict with a loved one, a work crisis, home crisis, a change in circumstances or a damaging event in the past. Finding the source of your negative feeling is one major step towards learning how to be more confident.

3. Practice Mindfulness – Out with the Negatives, In with the Positives

According to one of my favourite quotes by Marcus Aurelius, “You have power over your mind not outside events. Realize this and you will find strength.” The idea here is to become aware of how you interpret situations and what you tell yourself (i.e. the small voice in your head). This act of practising mindfulness has two facets; adopting positive mental reinforcements and refusing to entertain negative thoughts. You will be pleased to know that the concept of mindfulness has been accepted and successfully incorporated into many therapeutic interventions in the fields of medicine and psychology. Practicing mindfulness helps with clarity and self-awareness, which is essential for building an integrity-based and purposeful rewarding life. When you are living your life in alignment with your authentic self; it means you are vibrating at a frequency that matches that of your true self.

When it comes to negative thoughts pay attention to patterns of thought that drain your self-confidence. This may include negative self-talk, assuming negative conclusion with little to no evidence, insisting that your achievements don’t count or dwelling on past rejections. 

To counter these feelings learn to forgive yourself, treat yourself with kindness, view your failures as lessons, do things you genuinely enjoy, spend time with people who value you and avoid putting unreasonable pressure on yourself.

The takeaway is that a healthy sense of self-esteem is central to a happy and fruitful life (personal or professional). Drawing on these tips on how to be more confident, I hope you now have a stepping stone to improving your quality of life by breaking free from the vicious cycle of low self-esteem.